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The Long Dark Shadow
The Long Dark Shadow
The long dark shadow although visible, has not the substance of the object or person that casts it or the power of the light that causes it to form.
It may reveal the shape but not the detail. It is distorted and elusive, it has no existence of its own. Remove the object or person and it is gone, remove the light and it is gone.
If you’re looking toward the light you can not see your shadow but it is still there.
You are not a shadow, you have substance and purpose.
Don’t live life as a shadow of yourself, be the person who stands in the light causing it.
Words Matter
Give me one word with meaning rather than 10,000 spoken with passion alone.
A passionate speech can stir the soul but will it promote permanent and significant change?
Many people go to lectures or presentations that are designed to motivate or empower, but most of these presentations are designed around a passionate presenter who has the skills to stir up emotion. When you look into what is being said you will often find nothing that you did not already know, or worse unproven, untested or even dangerous theories. Mostly you will find hype.
The truth or that which is right is inversely proportional to hype. There has been many ideologies, cults, sects, political agenda, philosophies, advertising, and even social development and recovery agencies that have been established over all of history that have used hype/propaganda/emotional blackmail to gain the buy-in of the masses to a particular view.
Whether it is an advert for international aid showing a child in poverty or the latest “flavour-of-the-month” motivational speaker, both use hype to get people to buy-in.
What will cause ongoing change?
It is not a quantity issue, the bullet point summary is often all people need.
While preparing for my degree I reached a make-or-break point. I had just given a presentation that had just fallen flat, I felt like I should just give up and walk away. One of the facilitators of the programme said one word that changed my approach, one word that changed my entire point of view, one word that gave me the hope and the ability to continue. One word was all that was needed, no lecture, no motivational speaker, no long term counseling. Just one word.
The word was “distill”.
The facilitator knew I had the raw material needed but I had not assembled in the way that showed how I knew what I knew. As a result of this one word I took my 10,000 words and “distilled” them. I took out the words that did not matter and only included the ones that did.
The facilitator used one word that changed my life, one word that I use to help and assist others with their plans for business or for themselves personally.
This one word “distill” mattered.
A volume of words may persuade the masses for a moment, but the right word in the right season said in the right way will change a person forever.
Be careful with words, words matter, don’t make it a numbers game and make each one count. You will find that more often than not only a few are required.
Model Leadership
Model the behaviour you want other people to follow.
Behaviour of leaders needs to reflect the values of the organisation. If, as a leader, you can not lead by example then it is time to step down from your position.
People will follow modelled behaviour more willingly and with greater ease than by following a manual or edict. The saying “do as I say, not as I do” has no place in leadership, there should be a simple understanding of “as I do, you also do”.
Leadership at its basic level is an example of how a life is lived.
Questions to you as a leader:
- Is your life example worth following?
- Does it match the values you talk about?
If your answer is “no” at any degree then what are you going to do about it? You have only two choices, the first is change, grow or get help; the second is leave your position or step aside, any thing else could be seen as hypocrisy. I recognise that no one is perfect and as humans, we all have weaknesses and failings, therefore this is a journey that is to be travelled.
Life Is Hard
Lets face it, sometimes life is hard.
When work/life pressure is high there are times that we do not cope well, this is not sinful or wrong it just means you need help. This pressure can be too much to deal with alone so it is perfectly acceptable, and right, to ask for help.
Take time to recover, deal with the issues and become healthy, don’t rush it. Do not just look at dealing with the symptoms but deal with the causes. Get help, professional help, and don’t fool yourself into thinking that things will get better without intervention.
Deal with the issues.
For some this will mean taking time out from you usual routines to sort out your relationships, get medical assistance, deal with your addictions and habits (whatever they are drugs, alcohol, shopping, food, sex, gambling, internet and so many more) and look at the big picture of your life to get clear perspective.
You do not have to be alone in this process, there is help available but you will need to look for it. Your pride and ego will try to prevent you from seeking help, have the courage to swallow your pride and deal with the issues.
Pride will stop you enjoying a healthy and whole life.
Once you have regained your health put systems in place to alert you before you reach your personal trouble areas.
If you are a leader make sure there are systems in place in your organisation before it needs to cope with your absence. Ask yourself “is it right that the health of the organisation is dependent on the health of the leader?”. Remember that the health of the leader is the leaders own responsibility.
Life is hard sometimes so deal with the issues, get help and don’t let pride stop you from living a healthy life.
Depression helpline (New Zealand) 0800 111 757 (www.depression.org.nz)
Free Text 5626 for help (New Zealand) (www.thelowdown.co.nz)
Live an Authentic Life
For an authentic life:
- Hold true to your values, and always search for the truth.
- Learn to forgive quickly. Forgive yourself and others.
- Learn to be at peace, first with yourself then with your neighbour.
- Value contentment over commodity, it’s about who you are not what you have.
- Passion is great but compassion is greater.
- Key to success in life is hard work.
- In troubled times look to the things you have control of…attitude, hope, faith, and determination.
- Be the best “you” you can be.
- Every life is important, the world would be a lesser place without you in it. Remember that while there is breath there is hope.
- Be generous with honest thanksgiving. Smile and say thanks to those who do ordinary things for you today.
