Used or Abused?

Do you seek to be “used” for a purpose or by an organisation?

Don’t! Because you will be.

Rather, seek to be a volunteer. There is a fine line that is often crossed between used and abused.

To the leaders

A leader should be living the example of what is required, if the leader(ship) is just demanding the people under them to constantly…  do more, work harder, give more (time and/or money), and promotes themselves and their own organisation as more important than the people they are leading, then there is a serious problem with the leadership.

A vision should be challenging, it will involve committed people to achieve it, but, to negate the values of others or to constantly challenge the commitment of the followers because they are not as focused on the goal as the leader is, is to put undue stress, conflict and guilt onto the very people who can help to achieve the vision.

It is important to recognise that people have lives and priorities beyond just one organisation. Just because the leader is living for one purpose or cause only, does not mean that the followers should.

  • Know your boundaries. If you haven’t defined them make that a priority.
  • Accept “no” as an answer and don’t be offended or saddened by it.
  • Keep your expectations of others realistic.
  • Be accountable to someone outside of your organisation.
  • Be genuinely grateful for any assistance.
  • Never put pressure on people to commit, let them choose in there own time.
  • If people opt out, thank them for any work they have done.

To the followers…

Let me remind you not all leaders are good leaders and there are many “wolves in sheep’s clothing” out there, so take care

There is a fine line between used and abused and people, leaders and organisations have often crossed it. The difference between used and abused is similar as it is between being a servant or being a slave.

It is good to serve, that is, it is good to offer your abilities freely to another. But when you are a slave you lose all self determination, it has been taken from you either by force or by manipulation.

  • Know your boundaries.
  • Know what your limits are,
  • What are you willing to freely give?
  • What are you free to give?
  • Know when to say no.

Be a volunteer and serve where you are gifted to serve. Take care to look after yourself and your family, because if you don’t no one else will.

Paul S Allen

About Paul S Allen

Singer Song Writer; Musician (Guitar, Bass, Mandolin, Ukulele); Photographer; Poet; Thinker. I have food allergies so ask when you invite me for dinner. Lumen accipe et imperti. (receive the light and pass it on) Email me:

Posted on 23/06/2010, in Business Development, Church, Faith and Personal Development, General, Leadership, Vision and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

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